Qualifying exam

Yesterday was my qualifying exam. Its an exam that every PhD student over here in SISSA have to give when they are in 2nd year. We are asked to give a presentation (could be slide or blackboard lecture). Its a kind of demonstration of the research work and learning that the individual has done till then. The examiners are professors who work in various research areas but broadly belong to one field. Based on the performance the students are judged if they are suitable to carry on further or not.

I have been preparing for this exam for the past 1 month. I had to read a lot papers in order to grab as much knowledge as possible, so that I could answer the questions raised while the seminar is going on. I decided to give a Blackboard lecture. I prepared the lecture and then I rehearsed in front of my supervisor. There were lot of changes, I was asked to edit it and give one more rehearsal. Finally the 2nd time, it was quite good and my prof was happy.

Even though I practiced in front of my professor, still I was feeling nervous for the exam. The night before the exam, there was a big thunderstorm. Since it was hot, so before sleeping I left the window of my room open. But in night due to the big thunderstorm there was lightening every now and then on my face, and also the noises by the clouds was also quite disturbing. In short I didn’t get a good a sleep. When I woke, my head was dizzy and heavy. This added to my nervousness.

As the time for the exam approaches, I was worried. I was standing outside the lecture room with my other friends, when I was told that now its my turn to give the presentation. In the lecture room there were two blackboards, placed perpendicular to each other, on the adjacent walls. I was thinking to give the lecture on the 2nd one as that was big and it is more easy to write big equations on a bigger board. So I started arranging the seats accordingly, however the seats were previously arranged to follow the lecture on the first board. The professors and audience had already seated themselves. I was expecting the audience to notice me arranging seats, so that they could also start turning their seats towards the 2nd board. But before this happened I was told to start the lecture on the first board.

Before starting I wanted to take a glass of water to ease the nervousness blogging my throat. I started with a heavy voice and felt a little uneasy in the beginning. However as time passed by I gained more confidence over the audience. People asked questions in middle. Before starting I had feeling that less questions would mean more comfort but I was wrong. I realized that questions helped me in gaining confidence and I felt more ease. The lecture was fine. However some questions I couldn’t answer, they were too difficult for me. As a result they are answered by my supervisor.  Finally I finished the lecture. After which I and other non-committee members (which included my friends) were asked to go out so that the committee members (mostly professors) could discus my performance and research work I have done in one year. We (me and my friends) went outside the room and started gossiping. Soon after a small meeting of the committee members, I was called back inside to hear the judgment. At that point my mind stopped thinking, stopped doing anything. I stood motionless with the lecture notes in my hand in front of all the professors to hear the judgment. Soon I was told by the main committee member, “YOU HAVE QUALIFIED”. On hearing this there was a broad smile on my face. I felt quite relaxed as if somebody has removed the invisible stone that was kept on my head.